Saturday, January 16, 2010

The first update since the New Year's Resolutions

So, I'm proud to say that I haven't broken ALL of my New Year's Resolutions just yet. As predicted, I've broken some already. Like that "walk every day" thing. Unless you count the hike from my parking spot at the back of the parking lot to the employee entrance at work. Which, technically, since I'm usually running late and I have to find the most readily available parking spot as soon as possible, I guess it counts - speedwalking into work from the back of the parking lot, right? Some people do it by choice, I do it (ironically enough) because I'm lazy --- too lazy to get there early to find a better parking spot without having to drive around for an extra ten minutes. I guess maybe it does have it's advantages.


Anyways, so my mom stealth-attacked me with a doctor's appointment. And by that, I mean she scheduled me for a full physical with our family doctor. I probably haven't been there for about 2, going on 3 years. I know, I know ... you people are probably thinking I'm crazy for that, or stupid. I'd say both. But I hate going there. I even told him so when he walked in:


"You know, I hate coming here. I feel like I'm getting called into the principal's office every time I get here."


To which he responded: "Yep, And guess what? I'm the principal."


So, we went over my last check-ups, any medical issues, etc., the usual. I received a lot of eye rolls and tongue clucks and head-shaking at the fact that I've not been to the dentist since 2002, haven't seen my eye doctor in over a year, and haven't received any "female exams" EVER and I'll be 25 next month.


The number of people thinking I'm crazy, stupid, or both just increased exponentially, didn't it? I know. And believe me, I've been yelled at for it for a while. Just the thought of someone taking a look and poking around at my hootilly-hoo and ha-has  gives me the heebie-jeebies. And yes, I called them the hootilly-hoo and ha-has. It's a long story. But it ends with "and now I have an appointment in February to get them looked and poked at." There. Happy now?


Anyway, so he asked what my concerns were that I'd like to discuss with him, and I said I wanted to discuss weight and blood pressure management. I was completely honest with him saying it's not that I can't lose weight, it's that I can't keep my motivation going for it. I'll do really well for a day or a week, then I'll fall off the wagon, gain back the weight that I lost, then gain a few more pounds back. Doing that over and over again is what's caused the significant weight gain that I've accrued since high school. I told him that I'd like to be down in the 140 range as far as weight goes.


He looked over everything, set down his chart, and said, "Okay, here's what I'd like to see. I'd like to see you lose about 75 lbs." I agree. "But you're going to have to do it for yourself. And you're going to have to work at it; I can't make you do it. I'm going to prescribe you some phentermine to get you jump-started, and we're going to change your blood pressure medication around a bit, because it's still a little high, but here's what I want you to do ... For 20 minutes a day, at least four days a week, I want you to exercise. On the first day, you're going to run like your life depends on it, like you're saving someone from a burning building ... until you can't say 1 full sentence because you're gasping too much."


I told him that'd be about 5 feet.


"It might be 5 feet, it might be 10 feet ... who knows? But when you can't say 1 full sentence without gasping, you're going to slow down to a walk, until you're able to say 2 sentences without gasping. Then you're going to run again until you can't say 1, slow down til you can say 2, and keep going back and forth like that. For 20 minutes. What that's going to do is rev up you're aerobic and anaerobic metabolism, which means with and without oxygen, and get that up for the rest of the day, so your body is going to be burning calories."


This sounds like it's going to be hell.


"On day 2, you're going to do jumping jacks. I don't care how many you do, I don't care if it's just 6 a minute. But I want full arm and leg extensions, because on day 1, you're working one set of muscles, and on day 2, you're going to be working a different set of muscles. Now, for my patients who can't do jumping jacks, I tell them to lie down on the ground and make snow angels. As long as you do the same thing as on day 1 --- 1 sentence, 2 sentences --- for 20 minutes, that's going to get your blood pumping, get your heart working, and get that metabolism up."


I think I'm going to be starting off with snow angels.


"Just alternate your days back and forth. Run/walk one day, jumping jacks/snow angels the next. Now, in addition to that, do you eat breakfast in the mornings?"


Do I get up early enough in the mornings for breakfast? Hah. No.


"I want you to eat breakfast. I don't care if it's some fruit, or cereal, or even a cup of yogurt. Just get something in there for breakfast. Because if you don't eat breakfast, your body's going to go into starvation mode, and for the next 16 hours, anything that goes into your mouth will be stored as fat by your body. So you need to eat breakfast. Just make sure it's not McDonald's."


Damn! There went my loophole! I'm going to really miss that Bacon, Egg, and Cheese Bagel with hashbrowns and a large sweet tea with light ice! Le sigh ...


"As far as other food goes, when you're eating something, look at the food label. Every gram of fat contains 9 calories. So, look at the total fat grams, and multiply that by 9. So, for example, let's say you've got something that you're eating or drinking that has 100 calories, and 9 grams of fat. If there are 3 grams of fat, multiple that by 9 calories, that's 27 calories from fat.  Now, if the number you come up with is less than 30% of the total calories listed above that, your body will be able to burn off those fat calories. So, if there's 100 calories, and 3 grams of fat, 3x9=27, 27 is less than 30% of 100, so your body will be able to burn that off. If there are 4 grams of fat, 4x9=36, 36 is greater than 30% of 100, so your body isn't going to be able to burn all of those off, and you'll store the rest as fat."


I'm feeling like Pearl Harbor, right now --- I'm under assault from all angles. Darn!


"So, watch those food labels, and be mindful of that. And do those exercises I told you about. You can do more than that if you'd like, but as long as you're doing at least that, to get your metabolism revved up. And make sure you eat breakfast. Also, drink plenty of water." I showed him my large 1 liter bottle of Aquafina, and asked if 2 of those would be okay per day. "At least that much. After the first 2 weeks, though, you're going to want to drink even more. I want you drinking 1 of those during your workout. When you exercise, your muscles release a toxin called lactic acid, and you're going to want to flush that out of your system. Drinking a lot of water will do that and help keep you hydrated. Oh, and you don't go out and buy those bottles new every time, do you?"


Guilty look.


"That's a waste of money. It's just tap water. The filtration of it may be a bit different, but it's basically just tap water. Save yourself some money and just fill it up at home, or at work ... whenever. It's just tap water."


So, after that, I had some blood drawn (still have the bruise), got a tetanus-whooping cough shot (which, apparently, he said that whooping cough is making a comeback), and had to give a urine sample. Wish they would let me know that last part BEFORE I got there, so that way I didn't go right before I left. Good thing I drank some of that expensive tap water while I was waiting, I guess. My blood tests came back normal, with the exception of my thyroid, which is under-performing, so I had a prescription for levothyroxin-something-or-other, which clearly states on the bottle TAKE WITH PLENTY OF WATER. That should help my water intake. Now, I've got to exercise 20 mins/day, 4 days/wk, drink plenty of water, watch my food labels, take my meds, and go back every 2 weeks just to get my weight and blood pressure checked, and every 4th week, I'll meet with him as an actual check-up to make sure everything's going okay.


I'm going to make no illusions about it: this is going to be the simplest thing in the world to do, but I've got so little follow-through that I'm going to make it the most difficult. The weight and blood pressure checks every 2 weeks are so that I'm holding myself accountable to someone other than me, which will help.


Now I've just to worry and cringe about the hootilly-hoo and ha-has exams.

What about the other resolutions, though, you may be asking?
  • Mom's American Flag Afghan isn't finished yet. I have the stars loosely attached, but I need to get them in the right position, which is harder than I originally thought. I never figured it'd be so aggravating trying to get 13 stars in a circle on a blue field. Who knew?
  • I used up 1 skein of stash already. I was making a scarf in my free time at work, and Jamie (one of the girls on my team) said, "Oh my gosh! Is that a scarf? That's the exact same color as my ______." (I forget what item she had that was exactly the same color. A hat, maybe?) So I asked her, "You want it when it's finished? All I've gotta do is put on the fringe at the end, and it's finished." She accepted, so I now have 1 skein down. At least 9 more to go.
  • As far as learning to cook, I've subscribed to a lot of video podcasts on iTunes, and I browse allrecipes.com occasionally, looking for new recipes. I even tried making bread from scratch --- twice! And failed both times. One was a beer bread, that I didn't follow the instructions for it. The second was a honey-wheat bread, which I DID follow the instructions for it, and it turned out tasting disgusting. I'm going to get it right one of these times, though, dagnabbit!
  • I was devoting that 15 minutes to cleaning my room, and it looked really good --- for about a day. Then I moved something around, didn't put away some clothes, or make my bed, and it's now looking trashed again. Looks like that one's going to have to be a re-do.
  • I went and got some thread from Jo-Ann Fabrics the other day. I have some needles around here somewhere, and a pair of pants and a shirt that need mending. While I don't have any skills, per se, I should be able to fix those pretty quickly and use that as a springboard into obtaining some sewing skills, right?
  • I bugged my mom about bugging her friend Renee about the soapmaking thing. No luck so far.
How has everyone else done with their New Year's Resolutions? Any successes? Any failures? Here's hoping everyone's doing well and stays on the wagon!

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