The first update since the New Year's Resolutions

So, I'm proud to say that I haven't broken ALL of my New Year's Resolutions just yet. As predicted, I've broken some already. Like that "walk every day" thing. Unless you count the hike from my parking spot at the back of the parking lot to the employee entrance at work. Which, technically, since I'm usually running late and I have to find the most readily available parking spot as soon as possible, I guess it counts - speedwalking into work from the back of the parking lot, right? Some people do it by choice, I do it (ironically enough) because I'm lazy --- too lazy to get there early to find a better parking spot without having to drive around for an extra ten minutes. I guess maybe it does have it's advantages.

Anyways, so my mom stealth-attacked me with a doctor's appointment. And by that, I mean she scheduled me for a full physical with our family doctor. I probably haven't been there for about 2, going on 3 years. I know, I know ... you people are probably thinking I'm crazy for that, or stupid. I'd say both. But I hate going there. I even told him so when he walked in:

"You know, I hate coming here. I feel like I'm getting called into the principal's office every time I get here."

To which he responded: "Yep, And guess what? I'm the principal."

So, we went over my last check-ups, any medical issues, etc., the usual. I received a lot of eye rolls and tongue clucks and head-shaking at the fact that I've not been to the dentist since 2002, haven't seen my eye doctor in over a year, and haven't received any "female exams" EVER and I'll be 25 next month.

The number of people thinking I'm crazy, stupid, or both just increased exponentially, didn't it? I know. And believe me, I've been yelled at for it for a while. Just the thought of someone taking a look and poking around at my hootilly-hoo and ha-has  gives me the heebie-jeebies. And yes, I called them the hootilly-hoo and ha-has. It's a long story. But it ends with "and now I have an appointment in February to get them looked and poked at." There. Happy now?

Anyway, so he asked what my concerns were that I'd like to discuss with him, and I said I wanted to discuss weight and blood pressure management. I was completely honest with him saying it's not that I can't lose weight, it's that I can't keep my motivation going for it. I'll do really well for a day or a week, then I'll fall off the wagon, gain back the weight that I lost, then gain a few more pounds back. Doing that over and over again is what's caused the significant weight gain that I've accrued since high school. I told him that I'd like to be down in the 140 range as far as weight goes.

He looked over everything, set down his chart, and said, "Okay, here's what I'd like to see. I'd like to see you lose about 75 lbs." I agree. "But you're going to have to do it for yourself. And you're going to have to work at it; I can't make you do it. I'm going to prescribe you some phentermine to get you jump-started, and we're going to change your blood pressure medication around a bit, because it's still a little high, but here's what I want you to do ... For 20 minutes a day, at least four days a week, I want you to exercise. On the first day, you're going to run like your life depends on it, like you're saving someone from a burning building ... until you can't say 1 full sentence because you're gasping too much."

I told him that'd be about 5 feet.

"It might be 5 feet, it might be 10 feet ... who knows? But when you can't say 1 full sentence without gasping, you're going to slow down to a walk, until you're able to say 2 sentences without gasping. Then you're going to run again until you can't say 1, slow down til you can say 2, and keep going back and forth like that. For 20 minutes. What that's going to do is rev up you're aerobic and anaerobic metabolism, which means with and without oxygen, and get that up for the rest of the day, so your body is going to be burning calories."

This sounds like it's going to be hell.

"On day 2, you're going to do jumping jacks. I don't care how many you do, I don't care if it's just 6 a minute. But I want full arm and leg extensions, because on day 1, you're working one set of muscles, and on day 2, you're going to be working a different set of muscles. Now, for my patients who can't do jumping jacks, I tell them to lie down on the ground and make snow angels. As long as you do the same thing as on day 1 --- 1 sentence, 2 sentences --- for 20 minutes, that's going to get your blood pumping, get your heart working, and get that metabolism up."

I think I'm going to be starting off with snow angels.

"Just alternate your days back and forth. Run/walk one day, jumping jacks/snow angels the next. Now, in addition to that, do you eat breakfast in the mornings?"

Do I get up early enough in the mornings for breakfast? Hah. No.

"I want you to eat breakfast. I don't care if it's some fruit, or cereal, or even a cup of yogurt. Just get something in there for breakfast. Because if you don't eat breakfast, your body's going to go into starvation mode, and for the next 16 hours, anything that goes into your mouth will be stored as fat by your body. So you need to eat breakfast. Just make sure it's not McDonald's."

Damn! There went my loophole! I'm going to really miss that Bacon, Egg, and Cheese Bagel with hashbrowns and a large sweet tea with light ice! Le sigh ...

"As far as other food goes, when you're eating something, look at the food label. Every gram of fat contains 9 calories. So, look at the total fat grams, and multiply that by 9. So, for example, let's say you've got something that you're eating or drinking that has 100 calories, and 9 grams of fat. If there are 3 grams of fat, multiple that by 9 calories, that's 27 calories from fat.  Now, if the number you come up with is less than 30% of the total calories listed above that, your body will be able to burn off those fat calories. So, if there's 100 calories, and 3 grams of fat, 3x9=27, 27 is less than 30% of 100, so your body will be able to burn that off. If there are 4 grams of fat, 4x9=36, 36 is greater than 30% of 100, so your body isn't going to be able to burn all of those off, and you'll store the rest as fat."

I'm feeling like Pearl Harbor, right now --- I'm under assault from all angles. Darn!

"So, watch those food labels, and be mindful of that. And do those exercises I told you about. You can do more than that if you'd like, but as long as you're doing at least that, to get your metabolism revved up. And make sure you eat breakfast. Also, drink plenty of water." I showed him my large 1 liter bottle of Aquafina, and asked if 2 of those would be okay per day. "At least that much. After the first 2 weeks, though, you're going to want to drink even more. I want you drinking 1 of those during your workout. When you exercise, your muscles release a toxin called lactic acid, and you're going to want to flush that out of your system. Drinking a lot of water will do that and help keep you hydrated. Oh, and you don't go out and buy those bottles new every time, do you?"

Guilty look.

"That's a waste of money. It's just tap water. The filtration of it may be a bit different, but it's basically just tap water. Save yourself some money and just fill it up at home, or at work ... whenever. It's just tap water."

So, after that, I had some blood drawn (still have the bruise), got a tetanus-whooping cough shot (which, apparently, he said that whooping cough is making a comeback), and had to give a urine sample. Wish they would let me know that last part BEFORE I got there, so that way I didn't go right before I left. Good thing I drank some of that expensive tap water while I was waiting, I guess. My blood tests came back normal, with the exception of my thyroid, which is under-performing, so I had a prescription for levothyroxin-something-or-other, which clearly states on the bottle TAKE WITH PLENTY OF WATER. That should help my water intake. Now, I've got to exercise 20 mins/day, 4 days/wk, drink plenty of water, watch my food labels, take my meds, and go back every 2 weeks just to get my weight and blood pressure checked, and every 4th week, I'll meet with him as an actual check-up to make sure everything's going okay.

I'm going to make no illusions about it: this is going to be the simplest thing in the world to do, but I've got so little follow-through that I'm going to make it the most difficult. The weight and blood pressure checks every 2 weeks are so that I'm holding myself accountable to someone other than me, which will help.

Now I've just to worry and cringe about the hootilly-hoo and ha-has exams.

What about the other resolutions, though, you may be asking?

• Mom's American Flag Afghan isn't finished yet. I have the stars loosely attached, but I need to get them in the right position, which is harder than I originally thought. I never figured it'd be so aggravating trying to get 13 stars in a circle on a blue field. Who knew?
• I used up 1 skein of stash already. I was making a scarf in my free time at work, and Jamie (one of the girls on my team) said, "Oh my gosh! Is that a scarf? That's the exact same color as my ______." (I forget what item she had that was exactly the same color. A hat, maybe?) So I asked her, "You want it when it's finished? All I've gotta do is put on the fringe at the end, and it's finished." She accepted, so I now have 1 skein down. At least 9 more to go.
• As far as learning to cook, I've subscribed to a lot of video podcasts on iTunes, and I browse allrecipes.com occasionally, looking for new recipes. I even tried making bread from scratch --- twice! And failed both times. One was a beer bread, that I didn't follow the instructions for it. The second was a honey-wheat bread, which I DID follow the instructions for it, and it turned out tasting disgusting. I'm going to get it right one of these times, though, dagnabbit!
• I was devoting that 15 minutes to cleaning my room, and it looked really good --- for about a day. Then I moved something around, didn't put away some clothes, or make my bed, and it's now looking trashed again. Looks like that one's going to have to be a re-do.
• I went and got some thread from Jo-Ann Fabrics the other day. I have some needles around here somewhere, and a pair of pants and a shirt that need mending. While I don't have any skills, per se, I should be able to fix those pretty quickly and use that as a springboard into obtaining some sewing skills, right?
• I bugged my mom about bugging her friend Renee about the soapmaking thing. No luck so far.

How has everyone else done with their New Year's Resolutions? Any successes? Any failures? Here's hoping everyone's doing well and stays on the wagon!

So ... whatcha doin'?

As my neighbor's daughter likes to say, "So ... whatcha doooooooin'?"

I mean this in the New Year's Resolutions context, of course. I make New Year's Resolutions, every year, and, every year, I break them not too far into said year. But, the way I figure it, if the law of averages always manages to catch up with you when you don't want it to, why the hell can't it catch up with me in regards to my New Year's Resolutions? One of 'em's gotta stick SOMETIME!

I sat down and thought a lot about what I wanted to do this year. New Year's Day always seems so "clean slate" to me, even though there's really nothing that sets it apart from any other day, other than it's the first one that shows up chronologically on your calendar. So, for the past few days, I listened to my own thoughts, and read some others' blogs about what they wanted to do, and came up with a ginormous list of my own. Again, with that whole law of averages thing, I'll most likely break nearly all of them, but at least one should stick, right?

1. Start my New Year's Resolutions on January 2nd. January 1st is really just an extension of New Year's Eve, in my opinion, meant as a day of rest and recovery from the previous night.
2. Take a walk every day. Even if it's just on the treadmill, it's still good to move around a bit. Get the blood flowing and all that.
3. Lose 20 lbs by April 1st. Then another 20 by July 1st. Then another 20 by October 1st. Then another 20 by the end of the year. The way I figure it, I'm at least 80 lbs overweight. So, instead of being too vague or too strict in setting goals for myself, set a yearly goal, with 4 checkpoints throughout the year. Once I get down to what I feel is a reasonable weight, to where I'm comfortable sharing what I currently weigh, and where I'm headed, I'll list the actual numbers. For me, losing weight isn't just about the numbers, though. It's about being 24 (almost 25), and having to take high blood pressure medicine. It's about being an aunt, who wouldn't be able to keep up with her nieces and nephews if they wanted to run around. It's about having my jeans fit me comfortably, instead of fitting me like a tourniquet. (Go ahead ... get that image in your head.)
4. Finish my mom's American Flag Afghan. I've only been working on different incarnations of that thing for going on 3 years. I'm so close to having it finished, that there's no reason why I shouldn't be able to have it completed by week's end.
5. Use up at least 10 balls/skeins/hanks of yarn in my stash. I have --- literally --- 2 Rubbermaid storage tubs filled with yarn, down at the storage place in Harrison. And I have a stackable cart of yarn, as well. And some under my bed. And some in my closet. What obsession?
6. I want to learn how to cook. I mean, really cook. Like, as in The Julie/Julia Project type of "I want to learn how to cook". So far, I'm able to cook down some salsa before canning it, and I can whip up a batch of rice with vegetables and chicken, but I'm pretty limited. I want to be able to make things from scratch. Because really, isn't that what homesteading is all about?
7. Oh, yeah. I want to be a homesteader. I want my own place, with a lot of land, and all kinds of manual conveniences (instead of the electric ones ... with few exceptions), so that, just in case the end of the world as we know it occurs --- you know, nuclear war, widespread disease, movie-ranking natural disasters, or economic collapse --- I can live just as comfortably then as I do now. Somehow, this doesn't seem like one of the things that I'm going to complete by the end of the year.
8. Devote at least 15 minutes a day to cleaning my room, until it's spotless. See, I'm one of those people that have chronically messy rooms. My junk avalanche seems to spill from my walls into other areas of the house, to the point where I'm stepping over things in order to get to my bed. I'm about halfway to Hoarders, in some respects, so I need to get more organized.
9. Read the Constitution in its entirety. I'm a bit of a political junkie, as of late, and I keep thinking that I need to read it, and more importantly, understand it. I've got a book that contains the Constitution of the United States of America and The Federalist Papers, but I've yet to crack it open. I want to do that soon.
10. Begin (and finish) reading "The Real George Washington", "The Real Benjamin Franklin", and "The Real Thomas Jefferson". I've had these books for a while, and I keep hearing Glenn Beck talking about those books, and the people in the 9/12 Project group that I'm in have talked about it, too. I actually gave all three books to one of the guys at work to read, and he's read them all, loved them, and returned them. I would love to have a more intimite understanding of the lives of our Founding Fathers, and a deeper appreciation of what they sacrificed to be able to give us our country, which many of us, myself included at times, take for granted.
11. Finish reading the Southern Vampire Mysteries novels by Charlaine Harris. Okay, that's admittedly not as noble a task as reading the above-mentioned pieces of literature, but I really want to find out what happens between Eric and Sookie!
12. With that in mind, I need to finish Season 1 and Season 2 of True Blood.
13. Lower my blood pressure enough that I don't have to continue taking my blood pressure medication.
14. Get a tan. I'm not talking about being a bronzed beauty or anything, but just something darker than the pasty-whiteness of us natural redheads. If I were red-haired, fair, and blue-eyed, it would look okay. But I've got brown eyes, so I just look ... weird.
15. Learn to sew. I thought about getting some books on how to use a sewing machine and how to repair damaged clothes, but I never did. Oh, well. Birthday wish list, it seems. Plus, if I'm going to be losing weight, I don't want to go out and buy a whole bunch of new clothes (which I really shouldn't need to, if I've got a closet-full of clothes that I've 'outgrown' -- and not in a tall way), so why not just repurpose the ones I've already got?
16. Knit a sweater. I started Sweater Club last year at KnitWits in Kentucky, under the assumption that I'd have this wonderful-looking, handmade sweater that I'd fawn over. Well, after months of work, the sweater was finished. I put it on, turned around and looked in the mirror and ... hated it. It looked so ... frumpy? I picked out a bad pattern for my body type, so it looked absolutely horrible. Here's hoping I can go back on Ravelry and get a new pattern.
17. Knit a pair of socks. See # 16.
18. Make a baby blanket for one sister's baby girl, and for my other sister's ... wait for it ... baby BOY. I knew it was going to be a boy, turns out, I was right.
19. Grow some garlic. I keep buying garlic at the store, telling myself that I'm going to grow it in the garden, and I keep eating it instead. Oh! Note to readers: do NOT think to yourself, "Well ... I mean ... if I just take a bite out of a clove of raw garlic, it'll just taste like I dumped a load of garlic powder on my tongue. I'll just try it ..." Hah, yeah, about that ....... ah, no. Take it from me. And the blistered spot on my tongue that I received when I actually tried that a few months ago. I never said I was the brightest crayon in the box, did I?
20. Get my mom and/or dad to can with me. Or get my neighbors to can. Not that I don't mind sharing my homemade salsa with people, it's just that I like canning, so I think everyone should can.
21. Learn to can more than just salsa and apple pie filling.
22. Grow spicy peppers this year.
23. Have more than just a few plants in my garden.
24. Grow lettuces this spring/summer.
25. Start more plants from seeds, and transplant out into the garden.
26. Save $10,000 and put it into a savings account, and let it accrue interest. I'm more of a spender than a saver, and ever since I've had a job (which has been for 10 years; I started working when I was 14), my mom and dad always told me to save my money. But did I listen? No. So, while I currently don't have any debt (I see this as a big plus, especially in today's world), I don't have but about $3,000 - $5,000 to my name. While this may be a lot for some people, for the number of hours I've put in over the last 10 years, it's pathetic.
27. Go back to school and work on my education. I went to college for one semester, at Northern Kentucky University, the year after I graduated, and never went back. So, I don't have a degree in anything. While I'm thankful to have a job, it's not what I want to do for the rest of my life. (Come to think of it, if there's ANY way I can get a sugar daddy and just be a kept woman ...) While these may not be the best economic times, I'd still like to get a degree so that I can open up some more opportunities for myself.
28. Get a life. A love life, that is. I'm not talking about anything specific, like a long-term relationship or engagement, or anthing, but just get out there and mingle. I'm a fun person to be around (no ... really), but I never put myself out there in that way. One of the girls at work swears she's going to teach me the basics and finer points of flirting, so that I can use my skills for good or evil, whichever the case may be, to land me a guy. Eventually.
29. Learn how to work on my car. I have a 2001 Saturn L200. It's black. And it has a shitload of Marine Corps stuff on it, including a big 12'' in diameter Marine Corps seal emblem on the driver side. Wave or honk if you're passing me. So, that aside, it also has a gas leak. From the tank itself. Talk about annoying. Thank God it's not still $4/gal anymore!
30. Learn to make soap. My mom's friend, Renee, has been promising that she'd teach me how to make soap ever since my sister and I went and worked at her soapmaker's booth at Tall Stacks Festival in Cincinnati in 2006. Here we are, four years later, and no soapmaking skills have been bequeathed to me. Le sigh.